“When you call someone smart you put them in a box or on a pedestal and their life becomes organized around deserving the pedestal or staying on top of the pedestal. Their interests become narrowed to include only things they are good at, succeed at, or things that testify to their intelligence. The most important thing to them becomes positioning themself to look smart, feel smart and avoid anything that may show the opposite ”- Carol Dweck
Self Talk
Growth Mindset
- "I want to learn new things"
- "This is very hard, I'll try a new strategy"
- "I can't do this YET"
- "Where else can I improve?"
- "I can do better tomorrow than I did today"
Fixed Mindset
- "I'll stick to what I know"
- "This is too hard, I'm fine where I'm at"
- "I can't do this"
- "I've reached my full potential"
- "I'm not good enough, what's the point"
Obstacles
Growth Mindset
- Primarily Driven by their efforts
- Excited by Challenges
- When things don't work out, takes personal responsibility
- Mistakes are opportunities to improve
- Recognizes weaknesses and plans to work on them
- Critical Feedback is a tool for success
Fixed Mindset
- Primarily Driven by outcomes
- Avoids Challenges
- When things don't work out, Blames others
- Mistakes are personal defeats
- Avoids weaknesses, refuses to work on them
- Critical feedback is a personal attack
Intelligence and Personality
Growth Mindset
- You can always change who you are if you put in the work
- Intelligence and Personality can be developed and improved
- Your intelligence can change for the better if you work hard enough
- Your best efforts make you smarter
Fixed Mindset
- You can't change as a person, you are who you are
- Intelligence and Personality are set for the rest of your life
- You can learn new things but you can't actually get smarter
- Smart and Talented people don't need to put in the effort
Success and Failure
Growth Mindset
- Success is about pushing yourself to learn something new
- Failure means, you didn't give your best efforts
- I feel smart when I work on something hard for a long time and start to figure it out
Fixed Mindset
- Success is about how smart or talented you are
- Failure means, you are not smart or talented
- I feel smart when something is easy for me but other people can't do it
Enjoyment and Interests
Growth Mindset
- You thrive when things are just beyond your grasp
- You find interest in challenges that reveal your deficiencies
- You're interested in immediately difficult things
- When things are difficult you find interest and enjoyment
- It's easy to enjoy things that do not testify to your intelligence
- I like to compete with people older, bigger, faster, more skilled, and better than me because it makes me try harder.
Fixed Mindset
- You only thrive when things are safely within your grasp
- You lose interest in challenges that make you feel less smart or talented
- You are only interested in things you do well right away
- When things are difficult you lose Interest and enjoyment
- It's hard to enjoy things that are not a testimony to your intelligence
- I like to compete with people less skilled than me because it makes me look better.
Relationships
Growth Mindset
- I want people to offer me feedback especially if it's critical
- I want a relationship that helps me to work on my faults
- I want a partner that challenges me to become a better person
- I want a partner that encourages me to learn new things
Fixed Mindset
- I need people to constantly reassure me that I'm doing a good job
- I want a relationship that makes me feel perfect
- I want a partner that puts me on a pedestal
- I want a partner who worships my strengths